1. |
Ode to Dan
00:54
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This is the story about a man
Whom I once called friend
He was the baddest motherfucker
In all the pizza land
Dan, he’s the man with the plan
He’ll make your pizza with one hand
Hot and fresh, expect no less
He’ll do his best with great finesse
There’s extra cheese and extra sauce
He is a fucking pizza god
His name is Dan
He’s fast as fuck
When you’re stuck you’re in luck
He might just be your pizza guy
He is racing day and night
Don’t you fret
He’s your best bet
Just don’t you forget
He works for tips
His name is Dan
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2. |
45 to an Hour
02:48
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I hit the gas, I’m going fast
My boss is an ass, please don’t be mad
(Please don’t be mad)
Don’t yell at me, I’m at hyper speed
We aim to please, there’s no guarantee
(We make no guarantees)
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
Ain't got no superpower
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
Ain't got no superpower
You’re not the first, but you won’t be last
That shit it fresh, you can hold the sass
(There’s really no reason to act like that)
This smile is fake, for goodness sake
I grind my teeth, this is agony
(Oh, I hate it)
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
Ain't got no superpower
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
45 to an hour
Ain't got no superpower
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3. |
Stiffed
04:42
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Driving fast and wasting gas
I don’t make shit unless I haul ass
This dude is sure his food will be cold
This pizza thing is getting so old
I ring the bell and wait for an answer
How long until I knock, I’m really not sure
I can’t believe it, you’ve got to be kidding
He sent his kid to do his bidding
I got stiffed
This dude’s a fucking prick
I got stiffed
This dude’s a fucking dick
I got stiffed
This dude’s a fucking prick
I got stiffed
This dude’s a fucking dick
I’m so sorry, but I’m on my way
The food is hot, I’m not sure what else to say
I don’t mean to offend or make you mad, Miss
I hate to ask, are you sure that’s your address
The numbers were flipped, my pedal’s to the floor
I finally make it to her door
Your total is $20.83
She says “No, it’s supposed to be free”
I got stiffed
She is such a bitch
I got stiffed
I really hate this chick
I got stiffed
She is such a bitch
I got stiffed
I really hate this chick
I got stiffed
They’re both fucking dicks
I got stiffed
I really hate this shit
I got stiffed
They’re both fucking dicks
I got stiffed
I really hate this shit
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4. |
Hot N Ready
02:44
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My options are spent
Yeah, I can’t pay the rent
There’s nothing to eat
My fridge is picked clean
I’ve been going steady with hot and readys
Gonna fill myself with cheesy bready
Gonna stuff my mouth while I’m locked in the couch
Little Caesar, tastebud pleaser
When the bills are all due
But you’re all out of food
Hold the laments
This will do in a pinch
I’ve been going steady with hot and readys
Gonna fill myself with cheesy bready
Gonna stuff my mouth while I’m locked in the couch
Little Caesar, tastebud pleaser
I’ve been going steady with hot and readys
Gonna fill myself with cheesy bready
Gonna stuff my mouth while I’m locked in the couch
Little Caesar, tastebud pleaser
I’ve been going steady with hot and readys
Gonna fill myself with cheesy bready
Gonna stuff my mouth while I’m locked in the couch
Little Caesar, tastebud pleaser
I’ve been going steady with hot and readys
Gonna fill myself with cheesy bready
Gonna stuff my mouth while I’m locked in the couch
Little Caesar, tastebud pleaser
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5. |
ifuckingquit
02:01
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I clock in with my fake grin
Gluttony is all I see
I’m working towards nothing
This part of me, it’s slowly killing me
You piece of shit
You’re a fucking dick
Hey guess what
I fucking quit
You can keep this job
You giant knob
You sadistic asshole slob
Disloyal, ungrateful
All I see is wanton greed
This bullshit, it’s not worth it
Debauchery, it’s slowly killing me
You piece of shit
You’re a fucking dick
Hey guess what
I fucking quit
You can keep this job
You giant knob
You sadistic asshole slob
You piece of shit
You’re a fucking dick
Hey guess what
I fucking quit
You can keep this job
You giant knob
You sadistic asshole slob
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Half Cashed House Band Florida
A Comedy/Music legend in the making! Half Cashed House Band will not dissapoint with hijinks and antics galore. A musical masterpiece with laugh-out-loud lyrics that will certainly tickle that funnybone. Tell your friends, tell your grandma, Half Cashed House Band's got it goin' on! ... more
